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The loss of a loved one is a devastating life experience. The person or family grieving is facing a painful adjustment. The last thing they are ready to hear is any suggestion that they are no longer connected to the deceased.

Many of us, as well meaning as they attempt to be, say things to their friend that suggest otherwise. So, for your own reference, let me share some advice and some input we found in our own research on called “The worst things to say to someone in grief”. We have heard them at our services as well.

  • “At least she lived a long life, many people die young.”
  • “He is in a better place.”
  • “She brought this on herself.”
  • “There is a reason for everything.”
  • “Aren’t you over him yet, he has been dead awhile now.”
  • “You can have another child still.”
  • She was such a good person. God wanted her to be with Him.”
  • “I know how you feel.” 
  • “She did what she came here to do, and it was her time to go.”
  • “Be strong.” 

There seems to be a common theme of “suggested separation” in all these phrases. Be sensitive to that point-of-view when you interact with a grieving friend. More than words like this, they need to hear that you feel their pain, and are there to support them in specific comforting ways, like providing meals, doing chores, and other things that take away to burdens of adjusting to a new life. 

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