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We all try not to think of cancer, but we are not really in control.
For much of our lives we can avoid the thought. After all, we think, we are too young, or too strong and healthy, or we convince ourselves it only happens to the other guy, not me. Other people, unlucky people, get cancer or have heart attacks, not me.
I suppose we need to hold on to these thoughts, for if we face head-on the realization that life is as fragile as it is, we would live with hypochondria anxiety.
I used all of these avoidance methods and convinced myself it was not going to be me, that I was good.
Then it happened, “I” of all people became one of the unlucky ones.
It was 2020 and my wife and I were about to celebrate our 50th wedding anniversary, when in one day it all fell in on me. With one trip to the doctor and one lab test result, I was now facing the fight of my life.
At first there was a moment of disbelief but that was followed by what seemed to be an unending nightmare of anxiety and fear. There was no way to slant this news, no way to rationalize this away. From this moment on, my life would change and not for the better. But the most pressing thought was not myself, but for my wife, Sharon. We were still and will always be very much in love. My feelings toward Sharon have not changed since I met the love of my life when I was only 19 years old.
For the next five months, I would spend most of my time traveling back and forth to Fox Chase Cancer Center in Philadelphia. I can’t say enough about the doctors, nurses, and staff of that wonderful hospital, they literally saved my life. Over the course of the next five months there would be two surgeries and chemotherapy, followed by approximately a year of recovery.
The one constant during that difficult time was my wife. For the first time in our marriage I realized she was the strong one. It had always been easy to kid myself about my own status in this marriage, for I thought I was 10-feet tall and bulletproof. After all, I was the football and wrestling coach; I thought I was the strong one, but I was wrong, so very wrong. When it mattered the most, Sharon stepped up. She loved me unconditionally, she nursed me back to health with pure determination, and occasionally gave me a much needed kick when I was feeling sorry for myself. Between dealing with cancer and the pandemic at the same time, she fostered stability in the chaos.
My second surgery was by far the most complex of the two I had. I would spend 10 days in the hospital. It was not just the surgery that was difficult, it was also the fact that the pandemic did not allow any visitors. Even my wife could not visit me. In our 50 years of marriage, we had never been apart for that long. But there I was, alone with my thoughts and anxiety, for 10 days without my Sharon. I did a lot of thinking during that 10 days. First, on the list was whether I would survive this cancer, but there were also other things on my mind. Maybe for the first time in my life I was forced to consider what was truly important.
Therefore, I began to create my bucket list. First, of course, was my wife. I decided that I not only wanted to celebrate our 50th wedding anniversary, I wanted to renew our vows. I wanted to show her that time and illness had not dimmed my love for her. The flame was stronger than ever and I am a lucky man with Sharon by my side.
Next, I was determined not only to survive cancer, but to get my life back. I would get back on my feet and do some of the things that in the past gave my life meaning and more than that I wanted to accomplish something new in my life, something I hadn’t done before. I refused to be an invalid.
Both of these things on my bucket list I eventually accomplished.
I volunteered to coach football last season and found myself back on the Cedar Crest football field coaching a group of fine young men. I may not be what I was but I was back on that sideline. I will forever appreciate that opportunity given me by the coaching staff of the Falcons.
Next, I wanted to accomplish something I hadn’t done thus far in my life, a new mountain to climb and the opportunity to give something back. So I ran for local office and, in November 2023, I was elected as a South Lebanon Township Supervisor. It’s not that I had anything against anyone else running, but in the words of a former football coach, they were simply the next opponent on the schedule.
I know one thing for sure now: I am one very lucky man. I wake up every day and greet a beautiful day and it has nothing to do with the weather. I pour my wife coffee and we talk about everything and anything. If my cancer journey has taught me anything, it has taught me there are no guarantees in life, every day is special and every day is a gift.
Yes, I know life is fragile, but maybe that is exactly what makes life so precious.
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