South Londonderry Township Police and wardens from the Pennsylvania Game Commission investigated a disturbing and puzzling crime scene at Dinosaur Rock today. Hikers reported finding a severed human forearm holding a spray paint can in front of Dinosaur Rock.

“There appears to be a crime here, but to be honest we’re not sure what at the moment,” reported South Londonderry Police. “There is no sign of the rest of the body and no blood. We don’t know if we had a murder or accidental dismemberment here, or somewhere else with the body part deposited here.”

Making things even stranger, soil conditions preserved a very clear set of footprints with a distinctive pattern that leads up to the landmark and then appear to step back close to where the severed arm was discovered. But there is no sign of those footprints leaving.

Even weirder, game commission wardens reported one of the cameras at the site had a battery failure that left the incident unrecorded. “The last thing we have on the camera is a young adult male approaching the rock from about the angle shown by the footprints and then it goes blank,” said the wardens.

“If I didn’t know better, I would suspect Dinosaur Rock came to life and ate this young man,” said the Chief. “There’s even a red smear where the rock’s mouth would be if it became a dinosaur. Probably paint, but I suppose we should test it to be sure.”

J.V. Bennett, secretary of the South Londonderry Township Area Historical Society and suspected wizard explained, “I have heard stories about Dinosaur Rock coming to life, but always considered them stories. The oldest reference we’ve found on Dinosaur Rock is from 1954, but since dinosaurs didn’t enter the popular imagination until the 1880’s or so it may have been know by a different name before then. So far, we haven’t found any written references to such an event.”

“If it did eat a graffiti artist, I wouldn’t blame it,” he added. “It has been enjoying being cleaned off.”

For now the event is a mystery, but local officials are working diligently to uncover the truth.

April 1? Should we be suspicious?

The TRUTH about this article

April Fool’s!

You got us, this story isn’t true. No severed arm, no investigation, no Dinosaur Rock coming to life and eating graffiti artists and vandals.

What is true is there are cameras in the parking lot to catch license plates and hidden cameras around Dinosaur Rock to catch the activity. There have been arrests and prosecutions and some pretty hefty fines. Those fines can be a significant burden for a young person already struggling in today’s economy. There is an easy way to avoid this, just don’t spray paint on and around Dinosaur Rock.

While I can appreciate graffiti as an art form, much of it at Dinosaur Rock was just vulgar vandalism, but in any event, Dinosaur Rock is the wrong place for it. Find a canvas that isn’t a landmark people want to see with their children for its own sake. Consider you might someday want to share it on a hike with children or elders in your life.

Moreover, we will continue to clean Dinosaur Rock until we don’t have to anymore. Your artwork or vulgarities will not last.

Let’s just stop it.

The next cleaning will be sometime this spring, keep an eye for announcements from the many groups involved.

Oh, and I am not a wizard, suspected or otherwise, really, honest.

– J.V. Bennett – Secretary of the South Londonderry Area Historical Society.